Help to Find Love

Helping single women over 40 to find their love

Why You Would Want to Pay for a Dating Site

Published by Alicia on August 30, 2009

Why would you pay for an online dating service when there are so many on the internet which are free?  Well I suppose that it all depends on how serious you are in your search to find love.  You need to determine what your needs are and make the decision that is right for you.  I have used both types and there are definite differences.

Firstly, it is free and you get what you pay for.  If the site is free, the owners need to make money in some way and mostly they opt for advertising.  Their focus is likely to be on selling ads rather than wanting you to find love and leave their site.  In addition, because it is free, all sorts of people may sign up for fun or to kill an hour or two of boredom.  Also, because there is no payment, no credit cards are produced which would have limited under-aged people.

Secondly, free dating sites often don’t have the features of paid sites.  The software of the site could be cumbersome and slow to load and filtering processed could be limited.  In the end you could find yourself wading through heaps and heaps of profiles to find potential dates.  Contrast this to a paid site that may have matching software and only show you men that will potentially match your personality and interests.

Thirdly, people who pay to be a member of a dating site are showing much more commitment to their search to find love.  By using a paid site you are almost guaranteeing that potential dates are serious and as a by product, they are willing to pay money and they have the money to pay for it.  These are both indicators of at least some financial security of your potential match.

Fourthly, you are more likely to find quality people on paid sites.  They have probably discovered that free dating sites are in fact very expensive with respect to time.  This is a statement that their time is valuable.  This is potentially a good thing.  I say potentially because you don’t want someone who is so short of time that they don’t have the time to devote to the development of a relationship either.

Fifthly, free dating sites are a virtual paradise for all sorts of scammers, con artists and dubious types.  Paid sites are not totally free of these people but they have motivation to remove people of this type from their sites.  Paid sites receive a lot of subscriptions from word of mouth and their reputation.

Sixthly, with paid dating sites, you can often enjoy features such as live webcam, photo uploads, private phone calls and many other things.  They are also generally a safer and more secure computer environment.

Having basically recommended paid dating sites over free dating sites if you are serious in your search to find love, would I ever encourage you to use a free dating site?  Yes, of course.  Initially, free dating sites are perfect if you just want to find out how this scene actually works.  It could be a way of putting your toe in the water so to speak.  Alternatively, a lot of paid sites do have free membership trials that you could experiment with.  Be careful to read all terms of service if taking up a free trial because sometimes your credit card will be automatically debited at the end of the trial.  Make sure you know how to cancel the service if it is not what you want.

To Success and Passion in Your Life!
Alicia

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Do you NEED to Find a Man?

Published by Alicia on August 17, 2009

Do you find yourself yearning for someone else in your life to give you purpose?  Do you want to get involved in his hobbies and activities and help him achieve his goals?  Do you want to immerse yourself in his life to give you happiness?  Do you find yourself wandering around not knowing what to do next?  Do you find that your life feels empty? Heaven forbid are you also depressed because you can’t find this man for your life?

Well I hate to tell you, but you have a problem.  You see, I was the same and I am sure there are many others out there with the same thoughts.  It is not that there is something wrong with us per se but there is definitely something wrong with our thinking.

When I found myself single after nearly 30 years of marriage (my choice), I just wanted to find another man.  I wanted one to complete my life.  I thought that I needed to find someone that would complement my interests and goals and personality.  I wasn’t in a particular hurry because I also enjoyed the freedom to do whatever I wanted and when I wanted.

So, I started my search and I met heaps of men and had a variety of success.  I met men that I only saw once or a couple of times.  I also met men that I ended up having long term relationships with, ie years.  Most of these men were, in my opinion, unsuitable to live with though.  I think that having been married for so long (3 different relationships), I sure knew what I did not want pretty quickly.

But back to the original intent of this article, did you know that if you lived your life for your man, ie immersed yourself in his hobbies and interests etc, not only might you be smothering him, but you are also denying yourself.  Aren’t you important enough to have your own interests, hobbies, friends, dreams etc?  The real danger may be that you say …”Well I don’t have any really”.

How come you don’t have goals?  You can’t have goals unless you are with a male to give you some direction?  This is a major warning sign that you need to get a life!

Now this may sound a touch insulting but it is not intended that way.  What I mean by this is that you need to become ‘whole’.  Having a partner DOES NOT make you whole.  You need to have your own purpose in life, your own passion to follow and grow within yourself.  It is this journey of self discovery which will make you whole and wonder of wonders confident in the process!  Also, the fantastic side effect of this is that you will glow with confidence and satisfaction with life because you are pursuing your dreams.  In addition because of your self assurance, you will attract your Mr Right.  You will be irresistible to him.

Now that is a goal worth pursuing.  Hang in there with me as I grow this site and get you to the same level of success and love in your life.

To Success and Passion in Your Life!
Alicia

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