Help to Find Love

Helping single women over 40 to find their love

What is Your Passion in Life?

Published by Alicia on August 18, 2009

Do you have a passion?  Is it something that you will spend hours doing and not realize the time has just flown by?  Ideally it should be something that drives you out of bed in the morning so that you can do it.  It should be something that gives you purpose in life.

Well, when I started looking, I had trouble.  Yes, I liked a number of things such as reading science fiction/fantasy books, doing jigsaws, playing mindless computer games for hours on end, chatting to friends online, my animals (Jasper (my doggie) and Marcie and Gracie (my two cats)) and not a lot else really.  None of that would make me leap out of bed thinking …”Wow!  I just can’t wait to do …..”  I did not really have a passion.  I am guessing that many of you may not have one either. So how do you find your passion?  There are a number of questions that you could use to get your mind thinking such as:

  • What do I enjoy? (This can get you started at least.)
  • What do I hate?  (Sometimes this identifies passions much faster, ie looking for the opposite of what you hate.)
  • What would I do if I had enough money not to work ever again?  (Skip all of the material things and concentrate on what you would do after all of the nice things were bought.)
  • What would I do if this was the last day of my life?
  • What does success mean for me?
  • What really excites me?
  • If I were immortal, what would I do with my life?
  • What am I proud of?
  • What would I do if I were the President?
  • What would I like to accomplish during my life?
  • What is it that is important to me?

These are merely thought starters and some you will want to answer more than others and that is alright.  You need to test your answers, ie ‘Does doing x make me forget the time or make me want to get up in the morning?’  You may find that you don’t have the answer quite right.  For instance, one of things I came up with was ‘to help people’.  This was all noble and stuff but what did that really mean and did it mean that I wanted to go over to some third world country and dig wells or something?  Well for me, the answer was no but you could easily answer yes.  I had to delve more into this statement to further define exactly what it was that I wanted to do to help people.

I wanted to make the statement make me feel light headed instead of feeling some type of dread. So for me, I might love to play with kittens all day or watch my doggie run free – these make me feel joy.  But I would not want to help kittens or dogs that had been maltreated because I would become way too sad.  So listen to your heart for lightness and joy when determining what your passion may be.

Some of these passions may have come from your youth – things that you may have put aside to study, have a career or to have a family, etc.  Why can’t you look to follow your dreams now?  A book that I would highly recommend is The Passion Test by Janet Attwood.  This is the book that I credit most with my new search to fulfillment  in my life.  This book can help you too if that is where you are at the moment.  It is never, ever too late.  Click on the link below to get it.

So why am I talking about passion?  It is simple really.  If you don’t have passion and fulfillment in your life, then you are most likely not ‘whole’.  If you are not whole, it is likely to show in desperation on your part when you go to find your love in life.  We don’t want that.  You need to be the best you you can be for this search.

To Success and Passion in Your Life!


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Do you NEED to Find a Man?

Published by Alicia on August 17, 2009

Do you find yourself yearning for someone else in your life to give you purpose?  Do you want to get involved in his hobbies and activities and help him achieve his goals?  Do you want to immerse yourself in his life to give you happiness?  Do you find yourself wandering around not knowing what to do next?  Do you find that your life feels empty? Heaven forbid are you also depressed because you can’t find this man for your life?

Well I hate to tell you, but you have a problem.  You see, I was the same and I am sure there are many others out there with the same thoughts.  It is not that there is something wrong with us per se but there is definitely something wrong with our thinking.

When I found myself single after nearly 30 years of marriage (my choice), I just wanted to find another man.  I wanted one to complete my life.  I thought that I needed to find someone that would complement my interests and goals and personality.  I wasn’t in a particular hurry because I also enjoyed the freedom to do whatever I wanted and when I wanted.

So, I started my search and I met heaps of men and had a variety of success.  I met men that I only saw once or a couple of times.  I also met men that I ended up having long term relationships with, ie years.  Most of these men were, in my opinion, unsuitable to live with though.  I think that having been married for so long (3 different relationships), I sure knew what I did not want pretty quickly.

But back to the original intent of this article, did you know that if you lived your life for your man, ie immersed yourself in his hobbies and interests etc, not only might you be smothering him, but you are also denying yourself.  Aren’t you important enough to have your own interests, hobbies, friends, dreams etc?  The real danger may be that you say …”Well I don’t have any really”.

How come you don’t have goals?  You can’t have goals unless you are with a male to give you some direction?  This is a major warning sign that you need to get a life!

Now this may sound a touch insulting but it is not intended that way.  What I mean by this is that you need to become ‘whole’.  Having a partner DOES NOT make you whole.  You need to have your own purpose in life, your own passion to follow and grow within yourself.  It is this journey of self discovery which will make you whole and wonder of wonders confident in the process!  Also, the fantastic side effect of this is that you will glow with confidence and satisfaction with life because you are pursuing your dreams.  In addition because of your self assurance, you will attract your Mr Right.  You will be irresistible to him.

Now that is a goal worth pursuing.  Hang in there with me as I grow this site and get you to the same level of success and love in your life.

To Success and Passion in Your Life!

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